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Let's Talk About Grief With Anne

Grief is messy. It's the opposite of linear. It can be dark and wacky, lonely or not, love-filled or seemingly lacking - but it is so very alive. No two people experience this process in quite the same way. These episodes are conversation starters for dealing with dying, death, and grief, part therapy and part storytelling in disguise. They'll shine a light, giving you hope and understanding of how others have managed their grief. Also, they are an insightful guide to life's many losses. You don't have to struggle alone? Please connect anne@understandinggrief.com at https://www.understandinggrief.com

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Let's Talk About Grief With Anne

Vernon Baumrind - Coping with the Loss in Divorce, the Death of Love

July 06, 2024 • Anne DeButte • Episode 103

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Hello, dear listeners. Thank you for joining us today as we continue our grief journey. Today, we're going to be delving into divorce. And it's a subject I don't know if society or we readily acknowledge that the pain and grief experienced when a marriage ends can often be the same sort of emotions as when there's a death of a spouse or a death of a relationship.

And it's not readily recognized that divorce is indeed a death. It's a death of the dreams and hopes the couple had. So, yes, there's the intense pain. Because I don't believe society recognizes it as grief, the person going through a divorce doesn't have the same support or comfort that you would get or expect if it were indeed the death of a person.

There are no rituals, no comfort, and limited support. The person going through the divorce can feel isolated and alone. It's not as simple as finding a new partner. The desire isn't for somebody new but for the one we had.

So, the journey of divorce is both complex and deeply emotional. And it goes far beyond just seeking a replacement. And if there are children involved, it can create custody battles, and it can be traumatic no matter what age the child is.

Now, our guest today, I'm certain, remembers only too well the emotional rollercoaster of grief when his marriage ended 45 years ago.

Why discuss this now? Well, listeners, please stay with me; you'll understand more soon. Our guest is Vernon Baumrind, a father, grandfather, and successful businessman in Charlotte, North Carolina.

He's also the author of a book called Deceit. It's a true story of domestic infidelity and betrayal with details recorded by a wiretap!

Here's what we talk about:

What lessons can readers glean from "Deceit" about recognizing, confronting, and healing from the wounds inflicted by domestic infidelity and betrayal?
The emotional pain experienced during divorce compared to other forms of loss.
Some common coping mechanisms people use to manage the emotional pain and grief of divorce.
How did the legal proceedings between Vernon and his wife shape their family relationships during and after the divorce?
And much more!

Connect with Vernon Baumrind!

Website: https://deceitthebook.com/home-1/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deceitthebook/
Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/people/Deceit-the-Book/61554718563758/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDhkM8hl-UkTCvkq0GEwi_w
Deceit the Book Part 1 (Companion Podcast): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hof1BwQCS_Q

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Connect with me:

Website: https://www.understandinggrief.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annedebutte
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/reconnectfromgrief